(The following story originally appeared in Shinan Govani’s gossip column in the January 31st, 2006, issue of the National Post. Shinan was the first to break the story of my Crying Game-style collision with former Motley Crue drummer and reality TV star Tommy Lee. I will finally be telling my full version of the events of that night in the upcoming production of The Silicone Diaries, Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, Nov 14-21, 416-975-8555 for tickets. MY SIDE OF THE STORY ISN’T WHAT YOU’RE EXPECTING…)

If she talks like a woman, but walks like a man …

Is Tommy Lee hoping to star in a remake of Twelfth Night?

Motley Crue met both gender confusion and the body politic on Saturday night when the ex-Mr. Pamela Anderson dropped into the Ultra Supper Club on Queen. With the much-tattooed rock hooligan causing a constant hum in the restaurant — particularly among the touchy-feely lady-skeletons poured into Rock and Republic denim – one particular woman was singled out by Mr. Lee.

The woman — a knock-out, by any definition — shared more than a few moments with the rocker. They talked. They flirted. They did some tequila. She sat on his lap.

Jealousy, meanwhile, spread through the room like Raid being unleashed, ferociously, from a can. Why — you could see the bubblequotes over the heads of all the many bimbionics — did she get to sit on his lap, and not them? Why, why, why?

Others smirked. Continue reading →