(this article originally appeared in my T-Girl column in Fab! magazine, Toronto’s Gay Scene Magazine, 2005)

I’ve had sex with two professional athletes, a movie star, two TV personalities, the CEOs of two Fortune 500 companies, four guys who worked for the Mob, a string of strippers, many male models, a bunch of bodybuilders, loads of nightclubbing suburban guys and even a few crackheads – all of them straight.

When I parade into a gay nightclub hanging from the tanned, bulging arm of one of these men, heads turn and eyebrows arch. Cliques of queers throughout the party wonder why these guys want so desperately to be with a tranny if they are supposed to be hetero. I tell them that when it comes to tranny-lovers, there are several types…

1. The Porn Aficionado
He’s spent whole weekends fantasizing over the impossible female bodies represented in porn. Then he goes to a club and sees the 36DD-24-42 tranny exposing her store-bought body parts on the dance floor. Concluding that a body like that is built for sex, he assumes that this silicone dream girl is wilder and hornier than anyone from the pages of Hustler. So what if she has a cock? She looks like Pamela Anderson’s over-the-top friend.

2. The Anal Addict
His opening line usually begins: “One time my girlfriend did this thing to me…” He explains that while getting a blow job, his girlfriend’s fingers went straight up his straight behind and into the male G-spot. It was the best orgasm of his life, and soon he was shopping for a respectably-sized dildo at Seduction. Then he started eyeing the shemale escort ads in the back pages of eye Weekly – behind his girlfriend’s back, of course. Continue reading →