‘Transformation’ was taken in 2006 after I had a series of complications from my second breast augmentation and what was supposed to be my final cosmetic procedure. Approximately six corrective procedures were made to correct the surgical problem. Each of these failed attempts resulted in more complications. Ultimately, my left breast implant had to be removed in order to save my life.
This was one of the most traumatic times in my life.
At the time I was not really working a as professional artist. My only creative outlet was a series of columns I was writing for Fab magazine called T-Girl. I had no idea that self-portraiture would become an important aspect of my life.
I knew only that I was trying to make sense of my fractured body and life.
I contacted Bruce Labruce through a friend because I admired him greatly as an artist. I had seen beautiful nude images he had captured of amputees and was very moved by them.
Bruce agree to take the photos and also agreed to never show them in Canada. He showed them in German and Italian art magazines.
I never thought that I would reveal them. They were created out of obsession and a necessity to comprehend and survive.
I recently found the images. I had almost completely forgotten about them. I now understood the photos in a larger continuing narrative of artistic exploration around my transforming body that has involved documentation, autobiography and self-portraiture.
Despite its aesthetic being so obviously influenced by trauma, I see this image as an empowering hieroglyph that portrays one of the darkest parts of my journey.
In fact, I don’t always even see this as an image of me. I believe it is an icon of a triple goddess: Aphrodite (the Goddess of Beauty) who was born of the sea foam that rose from the blood of Cronus’ testicles when they were thrown into the sea, Artemis (Goddess of the Hunt and Phases of the Moon) whose Amazonian worshipper’s removed a single breast to better fire a bow and Hecate (Goddess of Magic and Divination) whose face is forever cloaked in darkness. These three forces –beauty, the hunt and the power of magic– have compelled my radical transformation.
In November, Bruce and I both agreed to donate Transformation to Buddies in Bad Times annual art auction fundraiser. The image, signed by both of us, sold for 1700 dollars.
The dimensions of the printed image are approximately 3 feet by 2 feet.
(Approximately five months after the photo was taken my breast was replaced.)
